Days 4,5,6 and 7 - this blogging thing is tough

Well....I suppose it's a good thing that the one commitment I didn't make (but probably should have) was to write every single day. I'd hate to fall off the wagon this early in my adventure.

But the good news is, that over this weekend, I actually took some time to......rest. I put in some serious couch time. That dent over there on the left by the pillows? Yep, that's me. I was just plain tired. Tired in a way that if I sat down for more than a few minutes, I was gone. Heaven help me if I laid down. So...I did the unthinkable and I rested. I watched a little TV (adios, Monk), but more the inside of my eyelids than anything.

We also got some great family time in - finished all the Christmas decorations outside (inside was done last week), went to see a beautiful light display, made a big pancake breakfast, wrote a few cards, watched a funny movie with my oldest, and planned his birthday party. (OK, in hindsight, I suppose I did a little more than rest....but that was in there, too). I took time in church to close my eyes, breathe deeply and just be...I went to the library and got some books I am really looking forward to reading. Good stuff. The stuff weekends should be made of.

This week? Well, I am recommitting to being aware of what I am putting into my body. I haven't been lately and it unfortunately shows. But it's a brand new start and a brand new day and at the end of it, it has been pretty well spent - so at the end of today, I am pretty proud of myself. I done good.

And all that rest? Well, hopefully it will come in handy as the next 3 working days for me start at 4 AM. I do commit to shutting down the computer and getting on with my real life by mid-afternoon. So...now I lay me down to sleep...and going to bed early, well, that's one more notch in my 365 belt.

G'night and sweet dreams.

Day 3 - Starbucks - He's starting to damage my calm.

So, now we are into day 3....which was a long, long day. Started really early, far too much to do and feel behind in everything and more than a bit overwhelmed. So my husband, being the swell guy he is ushered me off to Starbucks after dinner for some quiet time and a cuppa decaf something.

Now in a post for another day, we'll get into how hard it is sometimes to let someone just do something nice for you and how hard he has to work to get me out of the house for alone time, but for now, this is the story of the Starbucks guy.

So, I am sitting there, quietly enjoying my soy green tea latte (which rocks, by the way. If you haven't tried it, you really should - but I digress), book in hand sunk into a comfy chair. No one yelling "Mom, Mom!" No need to pick up any messes, no dishes to wash or bills to pay, envisioning my post for the evening about my quiet time at the end of a crazy day. Pretty close to perfect.

Then it started. You see, I had the bad luck to be there in the last hour they were open. So, it was apparently clean up time. All around me he swept, wiped, he moved furniture around, he talked to his fellow workers who happened to be in the FAR CORNER OF THE COFFEE SHOP, SO TO BE HEARD, HE HAD TO TALK REALLY LOUDLY.

Now, mind you they close at 9. This was 8:20. Hardly the last few minutes of the evening, but apparently it was really, really critical that they work around me as much as possible so I was clear that they were closing soon and were dead serious about getting out of there. Trust me - you don't have to sweep under my feet twice for me to get the message. I downed the tea, bookmarked my spot and got the heck out of dodge.

Now just so you understand, all was not lost. I got a good solid handful of quiet time in - at least a half a grande beverage's worth - and trust me that's no mean feat. So...for now, I'll take what I can get. A husband who cares enough to kick me out from time to time. A love of short stories that means I got at least one good read in, and enough education now to know that next time I feel like relaxing at my neighborhood coffee shop, I need to do it a wee bit earlier...or bring earplugs.

Day 2 - Today I drank milk.

So, picture it if you will. I am hurrying home tonight - already close to 6:30 and late for when I said I'd be home for dinner. As I am driving along, I begin having a conversation in my head...

"So - it's only day 2 -  what'd you do for yourself today?"

"Um....well, it was a really busy day at work - lots to do....year end, you know."

"OK - well, you're committed to this project aren't you? So, what'd you do?"

loooong pause

"Well, when I got lunch today I really thought about it and got milk instead of Diet Soda. Seemed a much healthier choice (for my body) than soda....and I really, really thought about it - I NEVER get milk."

"Milk? That's the best you can do? Milk?"

**Thinks hard** "Yup - that's the best I can do."

OK - so besides the fact that I was actually having a 2 way conversation with myself in my head - which may be a topic all on it's own, I came to the realization that this is going to be really hard sometimes. I mean it has to be about more than milk doesn't it? Or does it?

Is it possible, that some days the small moments of conscious thought and deliberate choices can really make a difference? That instead of knee jerk reactions that make us do the same things over and over (which then, of course, give us the same results...surprise, surprise), actually giving some thought to making better choices really does help to start to turn the corner. Maybe slowing down and giving the kids 2, 3 or 4 kisses on the way out the door instead of barely skimming one over their cheeks. Maybe sharing a quiet moment to just breathe in and out before getting on to the next task. Maybe thinking about what would be really nourishing for M, B, and S instead of grabbing the most convenient thing. Maybe it's all these things.

Is this a cop out? Milk? I mean really? Somehow, the more I think about it I think not. This is about the journey - not the destination. It's about getting to the place where the choices I make really do support my goal of being whole in mind, body and spirit every day- and every step I take helps me get a little closer.

So, step one. Milk.

Day 1 - So, how do I start this thing?

 So, I guess it makes sense to start at the beginning. What the heck is this all about? Body, Mind, Spirit 365 - huh?

Well, in a nutshell, the idea started with my friend Joe, a comedian and writer who about 300 days ago started a project to write a skit every day for 365 days. Wow. Seriously? Every day? And you know what? So far he has delivered every single day.

Then there was my husband. He's always been interested in photography - and recently he has gotten quite serious about it, but about 6 weeks ago, he started a photography 365 project. These aren't just random snapshots of the kids, the cat or the garden. They are seriously well thought out projects that stretch him every single day.

So, this started me thinking...could I commit to taking on something every single day for a full year and actually follow through? Was there anything that was that important to me? My first thought was exercise! Yes! It would give me an excuse to have to get off the couch and move - every single day. But then I thought about it....really? Is that where my passion lies enough to commit to it every day? How fast would I skin my knees from falling off that particular wagon? Was this just one more way to put more demands on myself? Don't get me wrong - exercise is important, and I'm kind of a freak in that I actually enjoy it when I can get it in, but to commit to it 7 days a week/365 - well, that just screamed of a failure waiting to happen.

So - I thought and thought and thought....while I worked from o'dark thirty in the morning to barely making it home for dinner time many nights. As I raced from work to boy scouts to the grocery store to karate class, to the airport, to clean the house and do the laundry and pay the bills and....ok, well, you get the idea. Somewhere in all this madness were the pieces of me that well....were over there in the corner with my dusty running shoes, my quiet moments to gather my thoughts, my creative moments, my spiritual life and my joy in just being. With the boys, with my husband....with myself.

Therein came the genesis for this project. What if I just made a simple commitment every single day to care for myself in some way - big or small - in body, mind, spirit. What if I actually took a lunch at work and put on my tennies and went for a walk? What if I actually took 10 minutes of quiet time in the morning  or after the boys went to bed and sat outside by myself in prayer/meditation/peace? What if I made sure all my medical appointments were made and kept to make sure I am healthy? What if I actually went and got a pedicure instead of the 10 minute quickie job I do myself to just get by?

The idea isn't to put more pressure on myself - but it is to make myself accountable. To me. Many, many years ago I was a theatre major in college. There is something one of my professors said to me that has been resonating with me ever since I thought about doing this - It's not an exact quote, but close enough.  "Don't be a spear carrier in your own opera." I like that. 

So...1 solid year. Every day? I honestly don't know....but, I'm willing to jump on and see where the ride takes me. So for now,  just 1 day at a time. And then, well...let's see.